Tuesday, October 5, 2010

You Can't Seriously Be that Dumb?!

A dreary day outside put a slow day on our menu at the cafe, but it was not too slow to avoid one of the most plainly idiotic questions that I have ever heard. But first, I'll return to the display plates. I love display plates. They look nice, offer an opportunity for the chef or myself to play with the aesthetics of food and there is something gratifying about hearing compliments followed by orders. But the effectiveness of a display plate is tied to the mental and visual capacities of our guests.

Today's special was braised duck leg (swimming in a brown onion and mushroom sauce) served with roasted acorn squash and a warm lentil salad, garnished with mango chutney, toasted pumpkin seeds and walnuts. The display plate was quite nice, each component artfully arranged with an extra kale leaf, the reds and purples accenting both the plate and the squash.

A customer looks first at the display plate, then our soup menu, and then she moves directly in front of the display plate. She points at the dish and asks "Is that the Wisconsin Cheddar and Beer soup?"

There were no words in that moment.

My thought bubble: Oh my lord, are you really so absurdly naive to not know what soup looks like? Did you grow up in a soup-a-tarian household that rejected not just the tasting but knowledge of soups? Why are you trying to punish me?

My comment: No, ma'am. You will find the soup in these large containers over here. I recommend that you take a glance at our specials menu.

It's buffalo-chicken moments like these that make me want to cry. So, for anyone out there that needs a hand, I offer the following example:

Duck... yum yum!
Soup... also yummy but very different indeed.
I can see the room for confusion. Both are wet but only one has legs. Both are tasty with mushrooms, but one will slide off a plate into a puddle on the counter. I could go on and on but this question made my head hurt.


  1. Okay, sometimes I feel sorry for the stupid people who don't know much, but this lady should be sterilized.

  2. Hilarious! I'm glad you said it because I was thinking it